


four in the morning

by lovexyou



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Comfort/Angst, Dialogue Heavy, F/F, Homophobia, Slightly Illegal Activities, as in parental homophobia and how hard it is to deal with, as in trespassing cuz of the aesthetic(tm), at least for me it is, cuz you know. still coping., i consider it a happy ending cuz comfort, i wrote this more for the comfort than the angst, the ending is ambiguously happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-05-04 18:28:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14599077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovexyou/pseuds/lovexyou
Summary: “I used to think that the moon was the prettiest thing,” Dahyun says and there’s this child-like honesty in her voice.orDahyun wonders when love will be enough. Sana makes sure she knows.





	four in the morning

There wasn't any real reason to sneak into a park when it’s 4 in the morning, but sometimes life just takes you to random 4am trespassing visits. At least, that’s what Sana thought. She didn't need a reason to wear matching sweaters with her Dubu, nor did she need a reason to follow Dahyun when she decided the park seemed romantic at 4am. Everything is still hiding in the darkness, the stars are still twinkling out and about, and the moon… Well, it’s a cloudy night, but it looks pretty nonetheless.

 

Sana did have a reason to be there, though. Just one she wasn’t willing to confirm with Dahyun for fear that the smaller girl would break, then and there, into uncontrollable sobs. So she smiled back when Dahyun smiled, and she squeezed her hand as they kept walking, their only light source being the half-hidden moon and the soft hues of a streetlight.

 

It _could_ be romantic. After all, most teenager-esque rebellion had a certain adorableness to it. So long as Sana could stop worrying for five minutes, maybe she could manage to feel that youthful enthusiasm they came here for.

 

(But life had gotten in the way of their relationship so much in the past few months that there was a little voice in the back of Sana’s mind telling her everything was falling apart. Then she saw how tired Dahyun was and all Sana wanted was for Dahyun to be happy again. She misses feeling young again. They've both grown up far too quickly.)

 

“We should sit here,” Dahyun says with her voice so small and distant that Sana almost doesn't hear her. Almost, if she hadn’t been doing her best to listen.

 

Sana sits down on the bench with a _plop_ , taking a moment to try and appreciate the nature around them. “It’s really weird when it’s all empty…”

 

“Why did you wanna come then?” Dahyun asks, almost accusingly if her voice wasn't so pitifully soft.

 

Sana didn't really have a reason. “Just felt like being out with you, is all.”

 

“It’s cold, unnie.” Dahyun sighs, pulling at Sana’s sleeves so she can cover her own fingers with the fabric. Her breath was coming out in little puffs of white.

 

Dahyun knows that she should just tell Sana what’s been bothering her, but she just doesn't know how to. So she leans on Sana, depends on Sana for silent comfort. She’s been doing this for weeks, whispering an ‘ _I love you_ ’ here and there, initiating casual handholding whenever there’s an unnatural space between them. Dahyun tries and tries as much as she can, but all she can do is hope that it’s enough.

 

(It’s been weeks. She knows it’s not really enough. She hopes Sana can wait a little longer.)

 

“The world is sleeping,” Sana comments in a higher pitch than normal, distracted with their surroundings.

 

“Yeah.” Dahyun looks at their joined hands. Her pinky finger was somehow stuck in the holes of Sana’s sweater, but Dahyun didn't want to untangle the mess she created.

 

“I like it here,” Sana continues, tilting her head back in satisfaction. The expanse of the sky floats above her and Dahyun can’t help but feel her heart swell knowing she’s in love with the most beautiful girl in the world.

 

Dahyun looks away to analyze whether or not the moon’s beauty can hold up against Sana, the clouds parting and leaving slivers of moonlight escape. “Well, it’s illegal to be here,” Dahyun reminds her. Sana stays quiet so Dahyun turns her head, eyebrows scrunched. Her heart flutters at the smile decorating Sana’s lips.

 

“Well, love’s not illegal,” Sana declares with the softest gaze, squeezing Dahyun’s hands and further tangling her fingers as a result.

 

“That’s- that’s not what I mean—” Dahyun tries to say, eyes wide, but Sana continues instead.

 

“ _No one_ can stop me from loving you.”

 

And as much as Dahyun feels her heart skip a beat whenever Sana’s being romantic, all she does is shake her head and give a good-natured chuckle that gets lost in the cold wind.

 

“Is love what’s worrying you?” Sana asks almost a little too bluntly, tilting her head to the side so she can see Dahyun’s face better.

 

(It’s a vague question, they both know it, and it doesn't need an answer.)

 

All Dahyun does is lay her head on Sana’s shoulder, the movement managing to partially disentangle their hands. She stays silent, closes her eyes. Sana almost falls asleep, just holding Dahyun to her.

 

Then, Dahyun did speak up again, and Sana’s eyes snap open as she listens. “I used to think that the moon was the prettiest thing,” Dahyun says and there’s this child-like honesty in her voice.

 

Well, if this isn't the set-up for a pickup line then Sana is sincerely disappointed.

 

“I used to want to be as pretty as the moon because _everyone_ loves the moon.”

 

“Dahyunnie, you are as pretty as the moon,” Sana quickly says, just in case Dahyun’s forgotten. She’ll say it again and again, as much as Dahyun needs to hear it. “And anyone who doesn't love you just doesn't know how lovely you are.”

 

“The moon can never be as beautiful as you, though.”

 

“Aww, that’s so romantic!” Sana answers immediately, her bright smile outshining both the streetlights and the moon. Sana frees her sleeves just to cup Dahyun’s face, placing a kiss on Dahyun’s forehead.

 

Then Sana doesn’t want to let go. Dahyun grabs Sana’s hand off her face and looks away.

 

“Dahyun? Why are you sad?”

 

Dahyun doesn’t answer, knowing that if she does she’ll end up crying. Sana settles for a hug.

 

“It’s okay,” Sana whispers softly, like she doesn't want anyone but Dahyun to hear her. “You don’t need to cry, everything is okay—”

 

“No, it _isn't_ , Sana, and you know that,” Dahyun snaps, closing her eyes. “Sana, if everyone finds out—”

 

“But they don’t know, Dahyun. They don’t need to know.”

 

“But what if they find out?!” Dahyun moves to look at Sana directly. “You know how people are. They would be disgusted and they wouldn't see how you’re more beautiful than the moon, and they wouldn't even wait long enough to find out—”

 

Sana hugs Dahyun tightly, pulling the younger girl back onto her.

 

“Why- why can’t they just accept us, Sana?” Dahyun’s voice breaks. “Why do they—”

 

“They don’t understand that I love you,” Sana starts, trying not to be clumsy with her words. “And when someone doesn't understand something all that well, they become scared of it, angry even. They try to ‘fix it’ instead of realize that nothing’s broken.”

 

Dahyun’s breath is rugged. It comes out in little gasps, little blips of mumbled words and puffs of condensation, and all Sana can do is just hold her.

 

“I can’t change the world for you,” Sana continues. “You don’t know how much I wish I could. We’ll be okay, though. I’ll make sure of it.”

 

“What if everyone finds out?” Dahyun asks again, her words so broken.

 

Sana holds Dahyun a little bit tighter. “We’ll always be together, okay? No matter what happens. We can be happy, Dahyun, no matter what anyone thinks.”

 

They stay like that for a while, Sana keeping Dahyun enveloped in a hug like she’s protecting the younger girl from the world.

 

Because they’re safe here, in an empty park when it’s 4 o’clock in the morning. Because they’re safe when they’re sitting in a cold winter so long as the world around them sleeps. Even Sana, who had gotten a childhood without all of this to fear, knew that she needed to keep moments like these in private for both of their sakes.

 

“I’m afraid, unnie,” Dahyun admits, her voice cracking just a bit. “I’m afraid to be happy. My parents, they… They think that people like you and me don’t deserve to be happy. And I get it, I always knew they wouldn't accept it, but they’re acting like I… Like I never existed, no matter how much they said they loved me before.”

 

(Sana didn't know Dahyun told her parents. She can’t help but wonder how long it’s been.)

 

Sana nods, placing a soft kiss on Dahyun’s forehead.

 

“And I’m fine with it- honest! I can keep living… but sometimes it just hurts too much, and I start feeling really afraid that even though I have you, somehow the world will try to take you away. It’s dumb, I know, but…”

 

“It’s not dumb, Dahyun,” Sana interrupts, “But you need to remember that you can feel happy too.”

 

“I _am_ happy with you, Sana,” Dahyun says in a low whisper, like she’s a bit embarrassed to admit it. Her lips curve into the start of a smile but then she sighs and it’s gone again. “Everything just gets really difficult sometimes, and then I end up like this, just… crying with no way to stop.”

 

Sana flinches. She wants nothing more than to make sure that Dahyun never has a reason to cry or be afraid, but she knows that no matter how hard she tries, there’s only so much she can do.

 

Dahyun takes a deep breath. “Things can go so wrong. What if the wrong person finds out? I… I can be happy with you, but nothing ever changes.” Dahyun cuddles impossibly closer to Sana. “Times like these are perfect, where we’re alone and there’s nothing to worry about, but I’m always afraid that when times like these end, we’ll be caught off guard or something. I just don’t want anything to happen to us.”

 

They stay in each other’s company, pulling away only a little to look at the moon above them.

 

“...Unnie? Can you… Can you sing to me?” Dahyun asks tentatively.

 

Sana accepts, humming a soft tune as she tries to think of something good to sing. She ends up just making up the words as she goes, her voice flowing with a sort of softness that blankets Dahyun.

 

Dahyun cuddles up to her girlfriend, tangling her hands in Sana’s sleeves again. Sana’s fingers slip through the holes in Dahyun’s sweater as a response. Dahyun giggles a bit, pulling Sana’s sleeves so they cover her hands completely. Dahyun rests her head on Sana’s chest, her eyes slowly drifting closed because of the lull in Sana’s melody.

 

Some time passes and it starts actually looking like morning, fluid strokes of red and orange painting the sky in blurs starting from the horizon, blending into the dark blue of the night. The world seems to wake up around them as the moon begins to fall asleep.

 

“Thank you,” Dahyun mumbles, smiling groggily as she detaches herself from Sana. If they don’t leave soon, they might get caught.

 

The older girl was somewhat awake, stretching her arms out and yawning. “Do you wanna go back?” Sana asks, her voice a bit raspy.

 

Dahyun hums a yes. Sana quietly stares at her instead of moving. “I’m alright, unnie,” Dahyun answers, rubbing a hand over her eyes. “I feel better now.”

 

They start making their way back to the hotel they were staying at. They’re both tired and in need of actual sleep, but they hold hands as the dawn passes.

 

By the time they get to their beds, Dahyun’s sleepy enough to be the one inviting Sana into her bed rather than the other way around.

 

“You wanna cuddle~” Sana declares cutely, making her girlfriend roll her eyes and smile sheepishly.

 

(And it’s enough, Dahyun realizes. Love is enough.)

**Author's Note:**

> This is still one of my favorite ~~angsty~~ works. Mostly because it's really just comfy comfort and hugs.
> 
> Find me on twitter @sonhyewolf


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